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Soundtrack for the Novel
Parallel

You probably arrived at this page because you clicked a link in the eBook, Parallel, or because you’ve heard about the book or songs in some other way. However you arrived here, welcome.
For a “limited time” you can listen to these songs in their entirety for FREE, simply by clicking the Audio Button below each song.

At some point this page will only offer “Samples” of the songs. At that time the songs will be available via the normal music distribution channels: Spotify, iTunes, Amazon Digital, and most other music distribution sites.

Click Here to learn about the band Shakespeare’s Cadillac 

Back Cover of the Novel

After briefly losing consciousness as the result of an automobile accident, Nick Sands feels lucky to be alive. A few hours later he’s not so sure.

Before the accident he was a successful San Francisco lawyer on his way to a deposition in Los Angeles. After the accident, he’s a 40-something faded rock star scheduled to headline a 90’s nostalgia concert later that week in LA. People know him in this alternate world as Nick Sands, the rock star. And while Nick remembers his “real” life in San Francisco, he also has all the memories of the rock star’s life.

Nick desperately wants to return to his life in San Francisco because his girlfriend is about to give birth to their first child. He doesn’t know where to turn for help without sounding like a lunatic.

During his bizarre odyssey in the alternate world, Nick meets people like Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison, but they are not rock stars in the parallel world because they made different life choices. Nick is truly through the looking glass when he meets other eccentric characters, e.g., Rebecca, a university parapsychologist specializing in “Parallel Reality Therapy”; and The Thin Man, a secretive tech genius and multi-billionaire who has devised a machine that projects virtual reality images created by the brain, simulating how the mind actually creates reality.

On his journey Nick receives assistance from many sources.

But nothing can prepare him for how that journey ends.

All songs were recorded by the group Shakespeare’s Cadillac.

We hope you enjoy the experience of having the choice to actually HEAR the music described in the novel.

Shakespeare's Cadillac

by Shakespeare's Cadillac | Parallel

Click Here to See Lyrics

Shakespeare’s Cadillac

Music and Lyrics by Stephen Smoke

Livin’ in my car in the Hollywood Hills
Workin’ as a waiter tryin’ to pay my bills
All day long, well I play my guitar
Writin’ songs in the back seat of my car
If I ever get outta here I ain’t comin back
Dreamin’ the dream in Shakespeare’s Cadillac

Recordin’ my songs hustlin’ every day
An A and R man says, “I like the way you play”
I grabbed that life line and didn’t let go
Now I’m drivin down Sunset’…I’m on the radio
Top down, hair blowin, don’t look back
I’m ridin’ smooth…in Shakespeare’s Cadillac

Chorus

If I could go back and rewrite the script
There’s a lot of things I’d like to flip
One thing I’d never change when I look back
Is that sweet, sweet ride…in my Shake, Shake, Shake…Shakespeare’s Cadillac

Six months in my song hit number ten
I tried real hard to do it again
I barely cracked a hundred, I was yesterday’s news
I was playin’ rock and roll, but I was singin’ the blues
Went down a dark road, thought I’d never come back
I took a detour…in Shakespeare’s Cadillac

I dove into a bottle and I almost drowned
Jobs dried up, people stopped comin’ ‘round
I burned a lotta bridges, said a lotta things
Hard to walk among the people once you been the king
I finally drove down a cul de sac
Ran outta gas…in Shakespeare’s Cadillac

Chorus

Now I play a lotta one-hit wonder shows
I play a couple of tunes that people kinda know
I still get laid, and I still get paid
But I’m livin’ in a different world from the one I made
Drivin town to town…tryin’ to get back on track
It’s just me and the road and…Shakespeare’s Cadillac

Chorus

© All Rights Reserved Stephen Smoke 2019

Story Behind the Song

The song is about “making it” in LA. While some of the song is “kind of” autobiographical, most of it is not. I never heard a song I wrote on the radio.

Nick came to LA with $500, his dreams, a guitar, and his old Cadillac. He worked as a waiter, slept in his car, and wrote songs in the back seat of his Caddy, often by lantern light in the middle of the night. When he wasn’t working, he put together a band, started gigging around town, and recording demos in a band member’s home studio.

Nick wrote all the band’s songs, and the other band members thought they were terrific. One day the bass player discovered Nick in the back seat of the Cadillac writing a song. The most famous writer the bassist could think of was Shakespeare, and he christened the car “Shakespeare’s Cadillac.”

There is a scene in the book where Nick and the band are crammed into the Caddy, parked under the Hollywood sign. A few days before, one of the guys in the band called in a favor from a friend who was a DJ at a small Glendale rock station. The DJ said he’d play the band’s song, from a demo tape, at midnight. One time only.

So, with the Caddy’s top down, at exactly midnight, Nick cranks up the radio full blast when their song comes on. Lots of other cars are parked nearby and somebody yells at Nick to turn down the radio. Nick yells back that it’s their song playing on the radio.

In less than a minute all the cars are blasting the song as Nick and the band high-five each other, under the light of a full moon, looking down on the city glistening below.

It was the beginning of Nick’s dream coming true.

Tone Poems

by Shakespeare's Cadillac | Parallel

Click Here to See Lyrics

Tone Poems

Music and Lyrics by Stephen Smoke

Verse 1

Sitting here all night long…writin’ tone poems
Messages in a bottle…on a sea of alone
Sometimes I think…I think too much
Sometimes I think…I think too much
3 a.m. silent time
Chasin’ mystery rhymes
No one there…to please
Alone but not lonely
Lookin’ for only
Some kind of redemption and peace
Sometimes the music can get so dark
Sometimes the music can get so…dark
Sometimes the music can get so dark

Verse 2

People say I’m just…killin’ time
I feel so alive breathin’ rhythm and rhyme
Sometimes I feel…I feel too much
Sometimes I feel…I feel too much
Darkness gathers
I’m chasin’ mad hatters
I need a dose of the blues
Gives me a calmin’ down
Brings me back around
Reminds me I got somethin’ to lose
But sometimes the music can get so dark
Sometimes the music can get so…dark
Sometimes the music can get so dark

© Copyright 2019 Stephen Smoke All Rights Reserved Published by Kitmun Music

Story Behind the Song

This is a song about writing songs (tone poems), but also about writing in general.

Recently, I discussed this song and with a friend. She thought the song sounded dark. I can understand that interpretation, but my take on the song is just the opposite. Look at this verse:

Darkness gathers
I’m chasin’ mad hatters
I need a dose of the blues
Gives me a calmin’ down
Brings me back around
Reminds me I got somethin’ to lose

The music (a dose of the blues) calms or “lightens” the darkness. It reminds me of what’s important (reminds me I’ve something to lose).

And this verse:

People say I’m just killin’ time
I feel so alive breathin’ rhythm and rhyme

The writing itself is therapeutic (I feel so alive breathin’ rhythm and rhyme).

And this verse:

3 a.m. silent time
Chasin’ mystery rhymes
No one there to please
Alone but not lonely
Lookin’ for only
Some kind of redemption and peace

I feel connected to something greater than the narrative that is “me” (alone but not lonely), and through the writing I’m looking for “redemption and peace.”

The aggressive nature of the music in the solo and at the end, is not so much anger as it is “release.”

Redemption

by Shakespeare's Cadillac | Parallel

Click Here to See Lyrics

Redemption

Music and Lyrics by Stephen Smoke

Verse 1

I saw you leap from a broken bridge
Into a river of tears
The saddest sound I’ve ever heard
Your echoed cries in my ears

Verse 2

I feel you through my dreams at night
At least that’s what I believe
Can I save you this time
Is this my reprieve

Chorus

I’d give my life to see you smile
And hold you one more time
I’m haunted by what I could have done
Was there a prayer I did not pray
A word I did not say
I need direction
I need connection
I need a cure for this soul infection
I need Redemption… Oh yeah, yeah
I need Redemption… Oh yeah, yeah
I need Redemption
Oh yeah, oh yeah,
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh yeah, oh yeah,
Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah…

Verse 3

I know everyone can’t be saved
And life is rarely fair
If I could have eased your pain
I’d have risked it all, I swear

Verse 4

I read your tear-stained note that night
Your forgiving sweet goodbye
You explained so many things
Everything but why

Chorus

Oh, this darkness pulls me down
I search for reasons to believe
That you and I will meet again
I need a hero for this story
Release from purgatory
I need direction
I need connection
I need a cure for this soul infection
I need Redemption… Oh yeah, yeah
I need Redemption… Oh yeah, yeah
I need Redemption…
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah…
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah…

© Stephen Smoke 2018 All Rights Reserved Published by Kitmun Music

Story Behind the Song

This song is written from the point of view someone haunted by the idea that he could have done more to prevent the suicide of a loved one.

I saw you leap from a broken bridge
Into a river of tears
The saddest sound I’ve ever heard
Your echoed cries in my ears

I’m haunted by what I could have done
Was there a prayer I did not pray
A word I did not say
I need direction
I need connection
I need a cure for this soul infection
I need Redemption…

Glorious Charade

by Shakespeare's Cadillac | Parallel

Click Here to See Lyrics

Glorious Charade

Music and Lyrics by Stephen Smoke

Verse 1

You touch my scars without recoil
You feel torn apart yet come back whole
You get a front row seat…to the dark unknown
And when you’re done…you can go back home

There’s also beauty that must be told
Inspiration feeds the soul
And what I see…behind the veil
Keeps me here…long enough to tell the tale

Chorus

All the dreamers have gone to bed
Lullabies all in their heads
At the end of the day
Make no mistake
I’m here with you
And I’m wide awake

Verse 2

I know I drink a little too much
And I would agree it’s been a crutch
But it helps me hide…a broken heart
And it numbs the pain…when the darkness starts

I interpret life: just what I see
Decode the bliss and the misery
From all the lies…meant to confuse
I uncover truths that I can use

Chorus

Verse 3

Life’s a masquerade: the many faces of you
Each one a little false, each one a little true
It’s a mixed blessing…this glorious charade
Just when you think you know yourself you are betrayed

Been down the road in both directions
I made mistakes, I made corrections
There are dangerous curves…and tolls to pay
And the shortcuts…tend to lead me astray

Chorus

Outro

Take off your mask, Baby
You can be anyone
Better yet, no mask at all
Fall away, fall away, fall away, now
Fall away, let it all fall away

© Copyright 2018 Stephen Smoke All Rights Reserved Published by Kitmun Publishing

Story Behind the Song

It’s been my experience and observation that most people enjoy experiencing danger, and all manner of authentic experiences, from a safe distance. They watch movies, listen to music, and read books about things they find compelling, dangerous, sexy, even inspiring. Things they would never dare to do themselves. The audience can observe, even be deeply moved by those depictions, and still go home safe and sound. That isn’t always true of the artist.

You touch my scars without recoil
You feel torn apart yet come back whole
You get a front row seat to the dark unknown
And when you’re done you can go back home

But not all art is born of pain. It can also be born of beauty and joy.

There’s also beauty that must be told
Inspiration feeds the soul
And what I see behind the veil
Keeps me here long enough to tell the tale

I believe that in order to create truly authentic work I must be honest, at least with myself. When that happens, truth emerges and I grow not only as an artist, but as a human being.

I interpret life: just what I see
Decode the bliss and the misery
From all the lies meant to confuse
I uncover truths that I can use

As artists and as people we are not just one thing or one person to everyone in our lives. And even when you think you’ve got yourself figured out, there’s always something else you need to learn.

Life’s a masquerade: the many faces of you
Each one a little false, each one a little true
It’s a mixed blessing…this glorious charade
Just when you think you know yourself you are betrayed

Been down that road in both directions
I made mistakes, I made corrections
There are dangerous curves…and tolls to pay
And the shortcuts tend to lead me astray

One For the Road

by Shakespeare's Cadillac | Parallel

Click Here to See Lyrics

One For the Road

Music and Lyrics by Stephen Smoke

Verse 1

Time to get dirty, baby
You know what I mean
Time to fire up
That sex machine
You need a vacation
No need to bring no magazines
Just bring your imagination
Those hot legs
And that sweet thing in between

Verse 2

You’re my addiction, baby
And I need you bad
(You’re the) worst craving
Best I ever had
I shoot you up
In doses that leave me drained
Can’t give you up
Don’t want no cure
Just wanna live with the pain

Chorus:

Wake up in the morning
My head is in a spin
But this is a dream I wanna be in
Come back to bed, baby
How ‘bout one for the road

Verse 3

I think about you
All day long
You know I can’t work
Feelin’s so strong
Then you video-call me
You give me that look and show me that thing
Ain’t nothin’ like it
Such a smooth ride
On that sweet adrenaline

Chorus

Solo

Repeat 1st Verse/Chorus

Outro

© Copyright 2018 Stephen Smoke All Rights Reserved Published by Kitmun Music

Story Behind the Song

This is not a particularly profound song, which you already know if you’ve listened to it. The song represents the earliest part of Nick’s career, more than twenty years before the events in the book take place.

The lyrics pretty much speak for themselves.

I like the harmonies on the chorus in this song, and the guitar solo in the middle is three different guitars playing harmonies to each other.

Best Days of Our Life

by Shakespeare's Cadillac | Parallel

Click Here to See Lyrics

Best Days of Our Life

Music and Lyrics by Stephen Smoke

I see you in the morning, makin’ breakfast
A moment untouched by time
It makes me happy, after all these years
Baby, you’re still mine

Life is messy, sometimes worse
Hard to see how pieces align
Every night when I kiss you, before we go to sleep
I see imperfect perfection and I feel fine

Chorus

These are the best days
These are the best days
These are the best days…of our life

Sometimes we say nothing, for hours
A silent lovers’ lexicon
Funny how the small things, become the big things
What you miss most when they’re gone

You’re not perfect, not even close
There been times I been halfway out the door
When we let each other be who we really are
Somehow…we love each other more

Chorus

We’ve been hurt, we’ve  been mended
Lovers’ hearts are strong that way
Love is a light in the darkness
Love can heal a broken yesterday

I no longer feel invincible
Tomorrow could be a no-show
We live forever in hearts of the ones we love
And my songs go where I can’t go
And my songs go where I can’t go

Chorus

© Stephen Smoke 2019, All Rights Reserved – Published by Kitmun Music

Story Behind the Song

One morning as I watched my wife making breakfast, I became keenly aware of how perfect the moment was: Untouched by time.

All relationships go through good times and bad. An old girlfriend once told me that, “If we have to work so hard at our relationship, then it probably wasn’t meant to be.” Years, even decades, after making it through life’s challenges, there is something almost magical about coming out the other side together. It’s a feeling that can be explained and understood theoretically, but until I experienced it myself I didn’t know how special it was. It was not the longevity. It was that after so long, we keep making the same choice: To be together.

We’ve been hurt, we been mended
Lovers’ hearts are strong that way
Love is a light in the darkness
Love can heal a broken yesterday

As I’ve gotten older much of the bravado of my youth has disappeared. I’ve become more aware of what’s here, in the moment. One day I will not be an actor in the drama of this world. I like to believe that the best of us gets left behind in the hearts of our loved ones. And for me, I hope that no matter how small the audience, my novels and my songs will go where I can no longer go.

I no longer feel invincible
Tomorrow could be a no-show
We live forever in hearts of the ones we love
And my songs go where I can’t go
And my songs go where I can’t go

Chorus

© Stephen Smoke 2019, All Rights Reserved – Published by Kitmun Music

Let's Go Again

by Shakespeare's Cadillac | Parallel

Click Here to See Lyrics

Let’s Go Again

Music and Lyrics by Stephen Smoke

Verse

Playin’ hard in casinos and hotel bars
Rock it in the pocket: drums, bass and loud guitars
I had my fourteen minutes of fame
I get that minute back, ain’t gonna be the same

Now I got that drive, drive, drive
And it feels so good just to be alive
Let’s go again

Verse

Life is short gettin’ shorter all the time
But little pleasures ain’t hard to find
You gotta look if you’re gonna see
I get a vision when you’re standin’ next me

I don’t do this for the money
You’re lookin’ so damned good, honey
Hell, yeah, let’s go again

Chorus

Man, it feels so good to back in the game
This time it’s not about the money or the fame
I’m a lucky guy
Baby, I survived
Kept my dreams alive
Come on, Come on, baby
Let’s go again
Come on, Come on, baby
Let’s go again

Solo

Verse

Playin’ hard in casinos and hotel bars
Rock it in the pocket: drums, bass and loud guitars
Had my fourteen minutes of fame
I get that minute back, ain’t gonna be the same

I don’t do this for the money
You’re lookin’ so damned good, honey
Hell, yeah, let’s go again

Chorus

© All Rights Reserved Stephen Smoke 2019

Story Behind the Song

This is a song about second chances and appreciating the opportunities that arise from those chances. We’ve all heard the phrase “fifteen minutes of fame.” In the story Nick was once relatively famous and then that fame faded. When he gets the opportunity to play music again on a larger scale, he believes he will make different choices now because he learned from his mistakes. At one point in the book he says, “Experience means nothing unless you’re paying attention.”

I had my fourteen minutes of fame
I get that minute back, ain’t gonna be the same

Now I got that drive, drive, drive
And it feels so good just to be alive
Let’s go again

Man, it feels so good to back in the game
This time it’s not about the money or the fame
I’m a lucky guy
Baby, I survived
Kept my dreams alive
Come on, Come on, baby
Let’s go again

I Will Wait For You

by Shakespeare's Cadillac | Parallel

Click Here to See Lyrics

I Will Wait for You

Music and Lyrics by Stephen Smoke

We always knew this day would come
One of us going on before
It’s hard to let go of your hand
And walk on through that door
Is there another side
Well, I’m a little scared
But if love endures
I will see you there
And you…you must know
That I…I must go

But I will wait for you
I will wait for you
I will wait, I will wait, I will wait for you

What is right and what is wrong
Used to keep me hypnotized
It’s not important to me now
As I look into your eyes
Mysteries of life
Seem to go unsolved
While the weight of sin
Is not absolved
But there’ s nothing
You could have done
To convince me
You aren’t the one

So I will wait for you
I will wait for you
I will wait, I will wait, I will wait for you

Solo

Is there another side
Well, I’m a little scared
But if love endures
I will see you there
And you…you must know
That I…I must go

But I will wait for you
I will wait for you
I will wait, I will wait, I will wait for you

I will wait for you
I will wait for you
I will wait
I will wait
I will wait for you

© All Rights Reserved Stephen Smoke 2010

Story Behind the Song

I started writing this song shortly after the death of my father-in-law. My mother-in-law’s greatest hope was that she would be reunited with her husband. Obviously, this is an extremely common wish among surviving spouses. Even those who are not particularly religious.

My father and mother also had a strong marriage, a love story that lasted more than 65 years. I saw first-hand in my mother-in-law, and later in my own mother, how empty a life can be when the closest person in your life is suddenly gone. The hope of being reunited with that person is powerful. It becomes a guiding light that informs your thoughts and actions as you move toward life’s inevitable destination.

The hope in this song is that “If love endures, I will see you there.” That hope provides great comfort as the surviving loved one nears the end of a journey that has suddenly become much more lonely.

This song is about a promise made, and heard, that makes the sadness and loneliness bearable.

We always knew this day would come
One of us going on before
It’s hard to let go of your hand
And walk on through that door
Is there another side
Well, I’m a little scared
But if love endures
I will see you there
And you…you must know
That I…I must go
But I will wait for you
I will wait for you

(Note: This song is sometimes played at funerals and memorial services. After listening to the song, if you are interested in using it in a service or memorial video you can get more information here.)

Echoes of the Apocalypse

by Shakespeare's Cadillac | Parallel

Click Here to See Lyrics

Echoes of the Apocalypse

Music and Lyrics by Stephen Smoke

Verse 1

I’m a passenger on this train
See crossing lights flash
People caught in the middle of the tracks
Can’t avoid the crash

Bracin’ the for the impact
This train is movin’ fast
Rollin’ into darkness ‘cause
Nobody remembers the past

Headin’ into the unknown
Racin’ down the rails
Gatherin’ speed every mile
Till the engine fails

Fueled by lies
Fired by fear
No one believed
It could ever happen here

Chorus

Words have no meaning
Pretty lies from pretty lips
All I hear are echoes
Of the comin’ apocalypse

Verse 2

Media magicians
Make truth disappear
Create heroes and villains
Like master puppeteers

People lookin’ in the mirror
See only their own pain
Little misdirection, Baby
It’s easy to fool the vain

Civil wars are never won
Each bullet’s takin’ two
All eyes on the target
Which one is you

When it’s over
And you calculate the cost
All that’s left are memories
Of everything you lost

Chorus

Verse 3

When you don’t know where you been
It’s hard to know where to go
Keep makin’ the same mistakes
With nothin’ to show

Remember the people you love
Things you hold dear
Tell yourself the truth, Baby
Is your hate just really fear

Do you judge your leaders
The same as the ones you hate
Or do you look the other way
And just collaborate

Freedom fighters are just a mob
Seen from the other side
History is flexible
And the winners decide

Chorus

© Copyright 2019 Stephen Smoke, All Rights Reserved

Story Behind the Song

This song is about a potential war that looms in the not-too-distant future unless changes are made. The media plays a big part in the momentum toward this apocalypse:

Media magicians
Make truth disappear
Create heroes and villains
Like master puppeteers

Words have no meaning
Pretty lies from pretty lips
All I hear are echoes
Of the comin’ apocalypse

The United States is a country on fire. For their own self-interests politicians and the media (both mainstream and social) soak that fire in gasoline. Those who benefit from that chaos, are not so much victors as they are vultures. The overwhelming majority of people touched by such fire are scarred for life.

Civil wars are never won
Each bullet’s takin’ two
All eyes on the target
Which one is you

When it’s over
And you calculate the cost
All that’s left are memories
Of everything you lost

In the end, when the apocalypse is over, the victors will write the story of their glorious victory.

Do you judge your leaders
The same as the ones you hate
Or do you look the other way
And just collaborate

Freedom fighters are just a mob
Seen from the other side
History is flexible
And the winners decide

Worlds Apart

by Shakespeare's Cadillac | Parallel

Click Here to See Lyrics

Worlds Apart

Music and Lyrics by Stephen Smoke

Worlds apart
I don’t know how to start to come home
Feelin’ so alone again
Don’t know how or when or why
I just know I need to try

I look out on the rain
I look out on the rain
We’re worlds apart
I don’t know where to start again
From the Land’s End

Chorus
Hallelujah
Babe, don’t let them fool ya
Can I get an Amen again
Hallelujah
Babe, I can see right through ya
All the way to the Land’s End

I feel like a stranger
In a familiar land but it ain’t right
It all disappears at night…like a dream
Nothing is as it seems…just clues
And they all lead back to you

Fall into your eyes
I fall into your eyes
With you in my heart
We can be alone and never apart
Even at the Land’s End

Chorus

© Copyright 2019 Stephen Smoke, All Rights Reserved.

Story Behind the Song

This song is open to many interpretations. Nick (the protagonist) is “lost” in a parallel universe and is desperate to return to his “original” universe, or world, where his child is about to be born. He is literally “worlds apart” from someone he loves.

I can also see this song being about loved ones soon to be separated, or who are already separated, by death (or another obstacle) who wish to be reunited one day.

I fall into your eyes
I fall into your eye
With you in my heart
We can be alone but never apart
Even at the Land’s End

Hallelujah
I can see in your eyes I knew ya
And I’ll know you again
Hallelujah
I need to get back to ya
I’ll meet you at
The Land’s End

Livin' Like You Got Nothin' to Lose

by Shakespeare's Cadillac | Parallel

Click Here to See Lyrics

Livin’ Like I Got Nothin’ to Lose

Music and Lyrics by Stephen Smoke

Livin’ in fear ain’t livin’ at all
Baby, I gotta run, don’t wanna crawl
Everywhere I look, see people dead inside
Runnin’ away so long they got nowhere to hide

Don’t want to live that way
Don’t know how long I got but I got today
Don’t wanna waste it ‘cause it ain’t comin back
Focus on what I got, not what I lack

Chorus

So I’m a livin’
Well I’m a livin’
Like I got nothin’ to lose

Bridge

Sometimes it’s hard to stay afloat
So many holes in the boat
Sometimes I know you think you can’t take no more
Baby, save your strength and swim for the shore

They say it’s good to live in interesting times
Good for revolution, betrayal, committin’ crimes
Truth twists in the wind at the end of a hangman’s pole
It’s a long dark night, gray twilight…of the soul

© 2020 Stephen Smoke, All Rights Reserved.

Story Behind the Song

Sometimes life can be intimidating, if not downright terrifying. But hiding from life doesn’t make fear go away.

Livin’ in fear ain’t livin’ at all
Baby, I gotta run, don’t wanna crawl
Everywhere I look, see people dead inside
Runnin’ away so long they got nowhere to hide

Don’t want to live that way
Don’t know how long I got but I got today
Don’t wanna waste it ‘cause it ain’t comin back
Focus on what I got, not what I lack

So I’m livin’
Well I’m a livin’
Like I got nothin’ to lose

Until the Darkness Comes

by Shakespeare's Cadillac | Parallel

Click Here to See Lyrics

Until the Darkness Comes

Music and Lyrics by Stephen Smoke

Verse:

I know it ain’t right, but I don’t think it’s wrong
I know something’s gotta change
Just can’t go on, till my strength is gone
Sometimes I feel it’s killin’ me

Is this the end or is it just too dark to see
I can’t tell in this fog
I look for a way through, but all I see is you
I free fall till darkness comes

Chorus:

Oh, Oh, Oh, my baby, until the darkness comes
Oh, Oh, Oh yeah, my baby, until the darkness comes

Verse:

My private disease, has brought me to my knees
Feel like I’m broken in two
When what you want, just ain’t what you need
Somebody’s gonna bleed

Chorus

© Stephen Smoke 2018 All Rights Reserved Published by Kitmun Music

Story Behind the Song

Nick (the protagonist) used to be addicted to alcohol and, at various times, drugs. He made a mess of his life, alienated friends and colleagues, and squandered opportunities. This song is about his addiction.

In the verses below he acknowledges that what he’s doing is wrong. Yet he rationalizes, justifies and outright lies to himself enough to convince himself that what he’s doing isn’t actually “wrong.” It is an example of how an addict’s moral ambiguity can be used to justify behavior. Even though Nick knows he needs to change, he remains lost in the fog of addiction, and “free falls till darkness comes.”

I know it ain’t right, but I don’t think it’s wrong
I know something’s gotta change
Just can’t go on, till my strength is gone
Sometimes I feel it’s killin’ me

Is this the end or is it just too dark to see
I can’t tell in this fog
I look for a way through, but all I see is you
I free fall till darkness comes

In another verse Nick acknowledges that his addiction has overwhelmed him. He understands that what he wants–escape, instant gratification, sensation–is not what he needs. He also realizes that he will suffer the consequences of his actions until he can regain the power to make different choices.

My private disease, has brought me to my knees
Feel like I’m broken in two
When what you want, just ain’t what you need
Somebody’s gonna bleed